Rocky Mountain Low

By / April 10, 2008 /

Awful. Embarrassing. Hack. Ridiculous. Contrived. By now, we’re all familiar with the appallingly bad “Let’s Talk Colorado” campaign for Colorado Tourism created by MMG Worldwide, Kansas City. We would offer you a link as a refresher but really, why bother? However, what is worth checking out is the latest addition to the campaign — the online crap.

Andy Bosselman alerted us to some recent musings on the work by Westword big wig and straight-shooter Patricia Calhoun. She takes aim at an email newsletter inviting would-be visitors to learn how to talk like a Coloradan. She nails it, so please check out her comments. We spent some time exploring the glossary of Colorado lingo and the only phrase we’re left repeating over and over is “Are you fucking serious?”

Now, because we’re a tad depraved and we like to abuse ourselves, we spent some more time at letstalkcolorado.com. Before going any further, please be advised: It is awful.

The design is dull, the content even more so. For starters, there is the user-generated section called Let’s Talk Favorites in which readers are allowed to share their personal stories of special places in Colorado. Not a bad idea, right? Wrong. Read more than two or three of these and you get the feeling most of them were generated by a couple of hungover interns at MMG working from a list of bullet points.

For example, Lori from St. Paul, MN writes: “I have seen a bit of CO and I have to say at this point that Denver Metro has a lot to offer. Shopping, eating, museums, and more.” Thanks “Lori”!! You forgot to mention convenient parking, a state-of-the-art convention facility and a waning homeless problem.

To be fair, maybe some of these postings are, in fact, coming from real folks. If that’s the case, then it reads like a never-ending third grader’s essay for the old “What I did on my vacation” assignment. “I rode on a chairlift. It was high. It was neat.”

No visit to a vacation-destination website would be complete without a souvenir T-shirt. Thankfully, at letstalkcolorado.com you have 12 to choose from. With catchy lines like “My other home is a cliff dwelling,” “Dude, where’s my ranch?” and “I’d rather be in a gallery” you can now show the world that not only did you visit Colorado, you also lost your sense of taste in a mountain biking accident there.

Here at The Egotist, we have talked at length about good accounts going out of state. We’ve come to accept that Colorado companies are going to look elsewhere for agencies that meet their needs. It sucks, but we’re dealing with it. We have all made the commitment to do better work so that we can compete on a national level and not lose these accounts.

But this is different. The Colorado Tourism account belongs in Colorado. These people have missed the mark entirely. Our state is not about hackneyed catchphrases and lousy stock photos. There is a real Western history here, a landscape unlike any other and some genuine good times to be had. This current work embodies the experience you’d get strolling concourse B during a 20-minute layover at DIA. And if that’s all the time you have, might we instead suggest the Pint-and-a-Shot special at Lefty’s?

To the folks running this account, we have a message: Please, please, please, please overcome your altitude-induced delirium and bring the business home. We promise to make you proud. There are any number of agencies here that could and would do better.

While we wait for the review, we’ll be strapping on our brain buckets and cranking the granny gears to our favorite rattler cake establishment before a hearty day of peak-bagging. Don’t bonk, lilly-dipper.