The Tuesday Rant: Merry Christmas (There, I Said It)

By / October 14, 2008 /

Volume 13 In a Series By Felix

Recently, the agency holiday card brief landed on my desk with a thunderous jolt. It’s a strange moment when that one hits any creative. On the one hand, it represents the chance to do something uber-creative. It’s blatant self-promotion, and a chance to show off and say “look, here’s how clever we really are!” But, the holiday card also comes with some serious baggage.

Let’s start with a small and pointless gripe (although many of you will say that about this whole rant, and like any good asshole, I don’t care). Most of the time, the holiday card is an afterthought to the traffic manager. It’s not a real job, it’s not important, it’s playtime for creatives. And that means you usually have to do this job in your spare time. Still, the prospect of something creative and fun being produced is enough to make most of us work on this one when we can, be it our spare time, in the shower, on the toilet, whatever. It would be nice to have some real time, but hey, no biggie. I say that now, but when I’m being hassled for four unique concepts and I have three other deadlines to meet, I’ll be cursing my words.

Anyway, there’s a much bigger point of contention; anyone who’s anyone in the agency has to sign off on it. Alas, this is not the sole property of the creative department. That means the most amazing, creative visions are put under vicious scrutiny and become helpless victims of compromise. Not always…but usually. I remember hearing once that “a camel is a horse designed by committee” and that is too true for comfort (no offense to any camels that may be reading). I’ve seen holiday cards start life as real gems, and yet when they arrive in the mail, they have lost all of their sparkle.

You would think that an ad agency could get out of its own way. The client is not around, there’s no egomaniacal CEO or CFO to please. This should be like shooting fish in a barrel. But ironically, everyone has an opinion on the card. Saying “man, please take your head out of your ass and just approve it” never really works either.

However, by far the biggest problem is the ludicrous sensitivity attached to the holidays. On no account should an idea ever be linked to any religious event, or upset anyone’s feelings in any way.

I kid you not, the brief on my desk tells me to stay away from ideas that may be polarizing, religious, obscure, controversial or, get this, traditionally holiday-themed! I know creatives are supposed to work better when working with limitations, but come on. When did everyone get such a chip on their collective shoulders about the festive season?

As an example, if I received a card that said “Happy Hanukah” I would not turn red, pull out my hair and ask for someone to be fired. The same can be said of “Merry Christmas,” because I just don’t care. But some people think it’s a crime punishable by stoning to wish someone a “Merry Christmas,” despite the fact that most of us are off work for that very day.

Some of my favorite cards from agencies of years gone by were Christmas cards. I remember a very smart one that was simply a bunch of stamps on a postcard arranged into the shape of a tree. The stamps totaled the exact postage needed to mail the card. Simple, elegant, and in today’s politically correct world, extremely heinous. Another classic was an agency that gave everyone garbage bags that were decorated to look like Christmas puddings. When people put their garbage out on the streets that year, the pavements were covered with giant puds. Awesome. And, it won a D&AD award.

So if we are not to explore themes normally associated with the “holiday” and we’re also not allowed to be controversial, where do we go? Snow? Well, maybe not, because “some of our clients don’t get snow and that would be odd for them.” How about love and peace? “Bit too right-on and political.” What are we left with? A phrase so homogenous and innocuous that it would make Martha Stewart look edgy – Happy Holidays.

I am really tired of all the PC bullshit, and I’m reminded of it most at this time of year. Can’t we just agree to the fact that we’re all different and not get so pissed off if someone dares to wish us a Merry Christmas or a Happy Kwanza? It’s not like someone’s spitting in your face; there is sentiment behind the message, even if you don’t agree with it.

I know it’s kind of a soft target for a rant, but man, when did our world get so bogged down in all of this “don’t offend anyone” crap? TDA’s ad about hookers is still one of the most memorable and funny pieces of self-promotion work I’ve ever seen from an agency. I’m sure that offended a bunch of people. And you know what? Who cares?

Happy Festivus, everyone.