Why’s The Industry So Down on CP+B for its Microsoft Campaign?

By / November 6, 2008 /

From Guest Editor, Jeremy Greenfield

Is it really that bad? Or are we just jealous that Steve Ballmer and his brand marketing brain trust didn’t give us $300 million to play around with to “resurrect” a brand that enjoys over 90% market share? Or is it something else?

First, The Facts

1. Jerry Seinfeld was NOT dismissed for the poor reception of the Bill & Jerry spots. He fulfilled his contract and, in fact, there were rumors swirling within MS that Seinfeld was only going to appear in one spot to begin with.

2. Crispin Porter + Bogusky was NOT responsible for the Mojave project. That was masterminded by MS’s internal advertising team and executed in conjunction with a New York ad firm. MS internal has also been responsible also for this and this. (They do pretty decent work, no?)

3. MS is NOT losing the battle with Apple. Sure, Apple has increased its share of the PC market from around 3% to around 5% since the Apple vs. PC campaign started, making most of those strides in the laptop market and on college campuses. But Microsoft still has over 90% market share for its operating systems. And don’t forget that MS makes many products for Macs, including Microsoft Word, which I’m now using to write this…on my Mac.

We Hate CP+B’s MS Campaign Because….

…We’re Jealous

That’s right, I said it. Everyone is super jealous of CP+B for the Burger King Freakout. Just admit it so we can move on with our lives. Maybe you think you deserve a piece of that three-hundo-mill because of the innovative print work you did for your local telecom equipment repair and retail. Well, then, I’ve got a fax coming in for you; it says, “you don’t.”

…We’re Judgmental

You think you can do better? “For $300 million, we could knock their socks off.” You’re probably the guy who says, “for $30 million a year, I could make more free throws than Shaq,” which, by the way, makes complete sense as a thing to say while watching a basketball game and is also just so super original. Ass. Truth is, you’d probably do “The Vista Freakout,” except it would backfire because you’re not Alex Bogusky and people actually hate Vista.

…We All Use Macs in the Ad Industry, So We’re Going to Hate Whatever MS Does

Everyone on the net couldn’t wait to point out that some of the work for the initial Bill & Jerry spots was done on a Mac or that Pharrell Williams (one of the MS spokespeople from the latest slate of spots) has a gold-plated iPhone. First off, who cares? I have a Mac at work, a PC at home and I use a Verizon LG phone. Does that make me some kind of wrong-headed, flip-flopping hedonist? Like John Kerry? I ain’t no Kerry. And second, I think we all know that ads are made on both PCs and Macs and that over 10,000,000 people have an iPhone. Does that mean that MS should never advertise for fear of “palling around” with Mac or iPhone people?

…The Ads Truly Suck

Did I hate the Bill & Jerry spots? They weren’t breathtaking ads, but Jerry Seinfeld could poop between two McDonald’s buns and I’d eat the shit out of it. And what about the I’m a PC site? It comes off as a little cheesy, but so do a lot of websites.

Here’s the problem: Vista and MS Office 2007 are insultingly bad products. CP+B should have just spent that $300 million buying up PCs loaded with those two shitty software suites, because nothing they can say will move the needle for the disasters that are Vista and MS Office 2007. Bad products market themselves in the post-advertising age.

And beyond that, the CP+B marketing isn’t really focusing on MS’s true adversary. For those of you who may have forgotten, MS DOESN’T MAKE HARDWARE. It’s a software company. Its only real competition is Linux and the 11 people in the US that don’t use computers.

So What Should MS Do?

Aside from building a better mousetrap, the company should somehow convey that it’s not evil, that it’s not trying to fool us, steal from us and frustrate us simultaneously by making crappy products. Unfortunately for MS, the best way to do that is to build a better mousetrap. I guess one thing that we haven’t considered is, maybe that’s what they’re paying CP+B to do: Make better versions of Vista and MS Office 2007. Truth is, MS, for $300 million, I could do it. My idea: The Vista Freakout. I haven’t worked out the details yet, but there will definitely be impromptu video and a guy in a trucker hat. I am Alex Bogusky. This will not suck.

Jeremy Greenfield is editor of Post Advertising and a contributor to CampaignFreak (AdFreak’s election blog).