The Rant: Why Are We Anonymous? Why Do You Need to Ask?

By / January 14, 2009 /

I’ll admit, I have not been a life-long reader of The Denver Egotist. I was introduced to it about a year ago, and not unlike Victor “I was so impressed, I bought the company” Kiam, I wanted to be a part of it. Now, I am, under the writing name of Felix (after The Odd Couple’s Felix Unger…F.U.).

Yes, we’re anonymous here at The Denver Egotist. Some say the reason is that we’re a group of has-beens. Others say we’re just a bunch of arrogant pussies who wouldn’t dare say any of the things we say if our names were known. Ironically, the people who usually say these things are also anonymous. And there’s a reason for all of it.

Anyone who knows me knows I wear my heart on my sleeve. If you want an honest opinion, you come to me; if you want someone to kiss your ass, you go elsewhere. Truth is important because it saves time and money. If you’ve ever seen the show “House” you’ll know what I mean. House isn’t liked, often not even respected, but he gets the job done and saves lives. OK, so that’s TV, and TV is mostly bullshit, but when it comes to being honest I’m right there with the arrogant doc. Tell the truth in a tissue session and you can hit creative gold much quicker than if you pansy around saying that every idea has merit. Give. Me. A. Break. I’d rather hurt someone’s feelings than hurt the client’s bottom line.

Unfortunately, and I’m sorry for the cliché here, “you can’t handle the truth.” And I’m talking about you, Denver.

This city has to be one of the most incestuous and overly-sensitive creative places I have ever worked. It’s a tightly-knit crowd and there are just a handful of key agencies and players (you know who you are).

How else could Jim Glynn be the copywriter on so many award-winning campaigns over the last decade? He’s good. He’s often great. But in any other city, he’d be just another freelance copywriter fighting for work. In Denver, he’s the go-to guy. I have nothing against Jim, I’ve met him and worked next to him. He deserves respect and has earned his position. But only in Denver could Jim have done what he’s done.

When I got to Denver, I trawled my book around agencies and heard the same names coming up over and over again. When an agency bites the dust, a game of musical chairs begins and the same characters appear back on the scene, doing the same kind of work. Some agencies have their comfortable niches as well, which was thankfully shaken up by the arrival of CP&B.

But above all, something that is tough to take in this city is an honest opinion. And it can get you a black mark for life. In a place where everyone knows everyone, one insult or honest review can go a long, long way.

Imagine, for a second, that the writers of The Denver Egotist came out of the anonymous closet. The economy goes from bad to worse, and jobs become scarce. When an Egotist looks for favors, jobs or scraps of work from the table, what will be the response? From most of the petty people it will be a clear “ha, fuck you. That’s what you get for berating my campaign.” As the ancient Klingon proverb goes, “revenge is a dish that is best served cold.” And it can get pretty damned cold in Denver.

I would love nothing more than to have the freedom to write under my own name. But do I want that small privilege to wreck my career (or at least put a nasty dent in it)? Do I want my family to suffer because I opened my mouth and said “you know, that campaign you did was really fucking awful and you know it. And here’s why.” There are way too many fevered egos around this city that bruise very easily.

Sure, there are exceptions (for instance, Schoenie has thicker skin than a rhino…then again, he’s not originally from ‘round these here parts). But he’s rare. On occasion, I’ve mentioned to people that Denver experience is not quite the same as New York, L.A. or London experience. I’m met with such disdain and venom, you think I’d just dropped trou and put my cock in their pint of shitty Coors Light beer (which would actually improve the taste by the way).

Pardon me for telling the truth, but this city is not, as I’ve mentioned before, an advertising hotspot. It could be, with hard work and dedication. But that’s not going to happen until everyone in this town grows up, realizes their flaws and takes constructive criticism on the chin. And when they brush it off, do something better and say “thanks for the feedback” I’ll happily print my name and address right here.

Until that day, both myself and (probably) every other Egotist will hide under the warm blank of anonymity, continuing to give our honest opinion. Take it or leave it.